Review - Kids Films... that AIN'T ("Hugo," "Team America World Police")

Up for an astounding 11 Academy Awards, "Hugo" is a rarity: a Martin Scorsese film without bloodshed, dismemberment or a ballet of bullets. Not quite a "family" movie, but darn-near close, this tricky film delivers two separate stories that intermesh in a long-winded, character driven arch that never really adds up to the sum total of its parts. Hugo Cabret (Asa Butterfield, who bears an uncanny resemblance to David Bennett from 1985's "Legend,") lives hidden away and alone in a Paris railway station circa 1930 after his clockmaker father (Jude Law) dies in a museum fire.

Left only sad memories and a mysterious automaton, Hugo eeks out a living by hiding and keeping the railway clocks working (pretending his absentee drunken uncle still works there,) while he steals food and gear parts to repair the automaton, thinking it holds a message from his late father.

He soon runs afoul of a cranky old toy seller (Sir Ben Kingsley) and his goddaughter, Isabelle (Chloe Grace Moretz.) Why does she posses a key that makes Hugo's machine work? Wwhy did it draw a picture of a scene of a George Méliès (one of France's pioneer filmmakers) movie? Interspersed within this puzzle we have silly, but dangerous, Sacha Baron Cohen as Inspector Gustav who wreaks havoc looking for wayward orphans in the railway station.

The movie then switches plots to reveal the real meat (and far more interesting story): the life and mysterious disappearance of famed early film legend George Méliès (Kingsley.) THIS is where the real story lies and it's truly a shame that "Hugo" wasn't entirely about him! Oh sure, the kid's story is sad and heart-breaking and all, but for us cinema-philes (like me and director Scorsese ) the historical biopic within the movie really IS the movie. Gimme a 2 hour 17 minute film about the life of George Méliès and I'll plunk down my $10 to see that! Other than that, the movie does have the genuine Scorsese touch: rich direction, beautiful cinematography, editing, and all the trappings of technical wizardry that it garnished with those 11 nominations. But, we'll see what happens come Oscar night, now won't we?

Team America: World Police (2004)

I know I'm suppose to try to compare "Hugo" to another film, but this is the best I could do, so cut me some slack, okay?

Who else could come up with this sick & twisted movie but the irreverent dream-team of Trey Parker and Matt Stone of "South Park" fame. "Brilliant" and "genius" are two words that describe this movie... others include "raunchy," "sick," "disturbing," "cring inducing," and "hysterical!" Based off the British "Super-Marionette" TV shows of the 60's (Thunderbirds, Fireball XL-5,) "Team America" is a world police organization (all marionettes, mind you!) that go after terrorism ...and always exit leaving in their wake a cacophony of chaos and ruin that was worse than when they showed up!

After one of their members dies, team leader Spottswoode hires NYC actor Gary Johnston (Trey Parker voiced) to join Team America and help infiltrate a terrorist in Egypt via his acting skills. True to form, everything goes completely wrong and hothead Team member Chris (Matt Stone voiced) blames Gary...mostly because Gary's got the hots for Team member Lisa (Kristen Miller voiced.) There is a moment of X-rated marionette sex that has to be seen to be believed... but I digress...

Korea's Kim Jong-Il (Parker again) plans to blow up the world and invites the Film Actors Guild (F.A.G) for a faux peace ceremony. Many actors are spoofed in puppetry including Alec Baldwin, Susan Sarandon, Matt Damon, George Clooney, and more. Naturally, our Team America heroes come to the rescue with their usual amazing bloodshed and violence. Nothing is held back here, even with puppets. Violence, nudity, language - nothing is sacred and nothing is spared...all this with the trademark Parker/Stone signature songs. I laughed so hard at the "release the panther!" scene, I thought I was going to have to be hospitalized. You can rent this on Netflix or Blockbuster.com